Negotiate the things that go on inside my head.
Be gentle, nice, understanding, but be the father.
Tell it as it is, be firm.
Thoughts of quitting, curses that can be felt throughout the body.
Flashes of intentions go as they came.
Pavlov reaction at times and distances known
the relative unknown races my heartrate
or so I think
my remembrance more distant
expectations, hopes, a memory
the world still there and well
which is enough to know
waves of attention glide though my body
waiting for a sign, trust, gentle
respect for what is, be happy but realistic
concentrate, some more and more
surface with this mind and body
attention and feelings take some more time to return
11 months ago